Thursday, December 25, 2003 |
Everyone, I'm not doing so well. Last night I was in the ER for a few hours..... they wanted to admit me but I didnt let them. Right now I wish I would have. Today was the worst. I had to call Matt in.... I felt so bad but I just couldnt take anymore. I was having a full blown panic attack. Some how I managed to still function.... it was hard.... and I swear ALOT of customers thought I was drunk. My chest hurt from about 10am until.... maybe 6pm.... It was the worst attack I ever had. Well I ended up having to call the doctor..... she told me to quadruple my dose of the anxiety medicine they just gave me.... it totally wiped me out.... when I did finally come to, I felt a bit better but my mind was still racing. Kendra came over for a bit.... I cried on her shoulder ALOT.... truth is, I'm in love with Tiffany. She is/was the perfect person for me and what we had.... I dont know what to think really.... I mean.... true love doesnt give up..... at least I dont think so.... but she seems to have..... but on the other hand, how do I doubt that we didnt have true love. And then to top all of this off.... everyone keeps making fun of Tiff and putting her down.... ok, I have names for Tiff right now.... what she did was wrong and yes, I think she is an asshole for doing it.... but some of the things people were saying about her.... I couldnt handle.... and that just makes it even worse on me.... somaybe they are trying to help me.... Tiff is extremely immature in this, but thats it.... shes still the perfect little girl I fell in love with. Well, I'm going to go to bed and cry a little bit... like I have the last few nights.... and probably will for the next few weeks. I was looking so forward to new years.... I tried everything to make it perfect for me and tiff. Ahh, the hell with it.... (C)2003-2008, Bob K Mertz - Some Rights Reserved |
