Sunday, March 26, 2006
Today wasnt too bad... Well, church was awesome as always. I was kind of out of it at lunch tho. Elisa and I had a good conversation and that was nice.... I'm not doing so well in groups right now... I like one-on-one conversations because most of what I have on my mind right now isnt something I'm comfortable talking about in a group.... And its not even the people.... There may be 3 people I'd like to talk to about this stuff but if its those 3 and me in a room, I still won't say anything. It's just really hard for me because my friends dont really want to hang out with just me ... they say they just prefer being in groups but I dont know if its so much a preference as maybe they just dont want me spilling my guts to them.... *shrug* ...
I really thank God for New Life tho.... For the first time I really feel like I'm appriciated.... and its not just a feeling... I know that I am. Thats better than any salary you could give me. Right now I think if it wasnt for me helping out New Life, I wouldnt be holding together too well. The only thing keeping me going is knowing that I am appriciated.... this isnt something that I've felt too much in my life.... I usually feel like I'm just being used and once I've accomplished what was asked of me, the relationship ends.... New Life isnt like that.... They really are an amazing group of people and they really do appriciate me.... It feels good to feel like your worth something to someone. It especially feels good with all of the crap that I have taken from bosses and girls in the past two years.
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