In a deep way, I'm the person I that I cant stand. I'm self-centered and a hypocrit. I based my life around Tiff.... around being with her and both of us accomplishing many goals together. I based my life on her being the one there to support me.... Maybe because she was the first person that I saw that fit in my life that could actually be there for me. I screwed up.... and now, I'm paying because of it. Relationships were things that I always seemed to screw up.... Tiff was .... I dunno.... man.... As much as I loved her, I used her.... I used everyone. Its no wonder that I dont have any friends.... I mean, as far as material goes, I'll give to everyone and anyone.... but when it comes to emotions, I'm greedy.... and.... Man, I just screwed up so many people's lives.... because I needed to feel love from someone.... Outside of my family, I dont know that anyone has truly loved me.... not saying they dont, im saying that I never felt that.... and thats my fault.... I screwed up so badly and I dont know that I can fix anything. I'm here in VA and I'm happy with where I'm at. I've got a great job and I've got other companies that would hire me in a heart beat.... I've got so many contacts.... I'm part of a great church....
You think my life is set?
Not at all.... its falling apart.... and I'm trying to deny it. I'm emotionally coming apart and because of my selfishness, there is no one there to help....
(C)2003-2008, Bob K Mertz - Some Rights Reserved
|
