BibleBoy's Blog

Saturday, May 27, 2006

So its been day break for quite some time and Im only half way to New
Alex.... Im so just.... I dunno..... I feel like im carrying the whole
world on my shoulders sometime and of course when I need help there is
no one there. On top of that, me being in NoVA is sometimes just like
throwing fresh meat in a lions den.... I cant say no to anyone... I
like helping people.... and the selfishness of NoVA just eats me
alive.... Im so backwards and strange I guess..... Last week I got a
bonus and I figured I'd get something that was actually for me so I
bought a watch..... And the last few days I've just beat myself up over
it.... Should I have bought a watch? That's $30 that I could have used
somewhere else.....

I guess the fortunate thing is that since I dont have many real strong
friendships and places to go and people to hang with I do have stuff to
do with helping so many people and putting alot into everything that I
do.... the bad thing is that, well... it eats me alive and I never get
a break.... but anymore, I dont know if I could take a break for
real.... For me to relax at all, I need to be with someone.... and the
more that time goes by, the less that becomes true.

Then of course this whole week I was so thankful that I was gonna be in
PA this weekend and taking somewhat of a break.... but so far there are
like 3 or 4 projects for me to work on once I get up there.... so much
for that break I guess..... I wanna be there for everyone, but at the
same time..... ahhh, whats it matter.... This me and I guess people
always will take advantage of me since I'm so easy to take advantage
of.... I'll deal.... I have for 26 years now so I guess I should be
used to it.....

 Posted @ 8:13 AM