Tuesday, October 17, 2006
I'm not perfect... I'm as guilty as this as anyone. But it's so hard to have everyone else think they know whats best and think they know what you feel... I guess its human nature to believe that we know it all but I wish we could all understand that we dont and that the best thing to do is not to defend why we are right but to be sorry that we hurt someone.
You know, the thing with Kim.... Its not about whether I did or didnt do something to upset Kim's parents... it's about being sorry that they were hurt and they felt the way that they did.... its not about trying to defend anything but trying to explain to them that I am really sorry that *I* hurt them. See, its not about saying that I'm sorry that what was done that hurt them because all your telling them is that you fully believe what happened was right and that its a shame that they dont believe the same way you do. When you tell someone that your sorry that what happened or what was done hurt them, there is no act of taking any responsibility. But saying that your sorry that you hurt them is really taking that responsibility -- and of course it's a lot harder because you are admitting that you were wrong. Maybe someone doesnt believe the same way you do but that doesnt mean that they arent hurt... You dont need to say that you believe that you were completely wrong but you need to take responsibility for what happened... The same way that the other person may just as well have their own things that they need to take responsibility for.
The hardest thing for me to understand is why, as humans, we are such intelligent beings, but none of us can figure out when we just keep digging a bigger and bigger hole. I've done it alot... and I've experienced it alot.... Most people who have been reading my blog know that I had about 3 years of pain because of someone digging a deeper and deeper hole.... her digging that hole wasnt my problem but my problem was that it took me 3 years to realize that I was standing on the ground she was digging away at.
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