Tuesday, December 19, 2006


I so often wish that I could understand more about the human mind and why people do what they do.... why do they believe that doing that opposite of what they should do is the best option? What drives us to lie and to hurt others?

A few hours ago I was really taken back by what I experienced. It boggles my mind that some people can do all they can to try to convince you that they care about you, but yet everything else they do or say seems to contradict what was told before. Worse yet, I can not understand why you can be an ignored and unimportant person but all of a sudden you make a mistake and next thing you know, you're the only thing that matters -- in a negative sense, of course.

It seems that the entire human race is becoming so much more self centered than I think our ancestors could have even dreamed of. Everything is someone else's fault... and we are becoming experts at convincing ourselves that it's not our fault. Quite honestly, I have been developing that ability and I hate it..... well, when I am thinking rationally, I hate it.

Why are people in debt? Well, it's because credit card companies give them more credit than they can handle, right? I mean, it should be everyone else's responsibility to give them guidelines and know what's best for them.... but dont you DARE tell them what they can and can't do.... that is, of course, discrimination.

At work last week I was talking to someone who was explaining why she really enjoyed working with a certain person. It wasn't because he was a perfect person.... it was because when he made a mistake, he owned up to it. It was honesty that got him to where he is and the friendships he has may or may not be plentiful, but they are meaningful.... because everyone knows that they can fully trust him.

I think the most comforting feeling in the world is knowing that you can trust someone and knowing that someone trusts you. I don't think there is anything better than that aside from the Love that God gives us. Maybe that's why so many people get aggrivated when they are micro-managed. I don't think it's so much that they don't want leadership in their lives as it is that they don't feel trusted to make the right decissions.... and if you aren't trusted, how can you really excel at what you are doing.

Something that God really spoke to me a few days ago I think really applies here. We think of what Jesus went through.... the pain He went through when He was nailed to that cross. It is a physical pain that I don't think any of us could even imagine.... but there is something deeper that I think people miss the boat on so often. Jesus took the sins of the world upon him. Jesus was spit on and laughed at. People mocked him all over the place. I've always said that I would rather have horrible physical pain than a little emotional pain.... think of Jesus in this light and try to imagine what He went through. I can't. And what I can imagine, hurts like hell. Imagine the people that lied to Him and emotionally abused Him. Think of all this and then ask yourself if God really understands how you feel.

It's so hard when people don't tell you what they mean but one thing I have realized is that you can almost always tell what someone is truly feeling if you pay enough attention to them. We've calloused ourselves into hiding the pains that we experience.... sure it means that we can endure more, but all it means is that our hearts become hard and untouchable.... It may sound like a good thing, but it's the complete opposite of what we were created for. Love is the center of everything but yet it's the farthest thing from our minds and even our hearts.

We've got to stop looking at others and what they do wrong and start realizing that we all sin and we all make mistakes. Instead of becoming defensive, we need to let others in so that we can all live happily. We're meant to be around people and we're meant to help one another. So why would we tell someone something and then not listen to what they have to say back? I think in most cases, we're just afraid of what they are going to say.... more so, we're afraid that they might actually say something and be right -- and all we want is to be angry with them

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