Sunday, February 11, 2007 |
One of the first things is trying, again, to figure out where my balance is. Over and over again I get screwed because Im entirely too nice. I will give and give until I have nothing left and then those that I give to are nowhere around when I need help with something. I need to learn to say no but my fear in that is that I end up compromising who I really am because I am really proud of who I am. The second thing that is really getting to me is how easy it is for people to let go of me. Its exceptionally hard because I really constantly feel like I'm not worth anything to anyone. I do, often, feel that if I died there would be no one that would miss me. So many people have actually made me feel like I was worth something and all of a sudden they just completely dissappeared.... Tiff, Kim, Ashley, etc, etc.... those are just the most recent ones.... Just dissappeared.... not even a message to see how I am..... Usually when people like that do come back it's not even a "hey, how are you?" but rather a "hey, could you (fill in the blank)?"..... I dont know.... I feel like a random idiot who just wanders around and makes no impact on anyone.... at least not positive.... *sigh* Labels: emotional pain, friendship, relationships (C)2003-2008, Bob K Mertz - Some Rights Reserved |
