Tuesday, January 15, 2008 |
Singles Awareness Day 08
Well, it seems the thought of that evil holiday that rolls around in February is starting to creep up so its about time for me to roll out the decorations. Happy Singles Awareness Day Labels: lonely, single, singles awareness, valentine (C)2003-2008, Bob K Mertz - Some Rights Reserved |
Sunday, October 07, 2007 |
Quite frankly, a lot of very strange things have been happening with me recently. I can't say any of them are bad but there is definately something different about me. I really do feel like God is about to push me in some new directions and, while this can sometimes make me nervous, I think it often makes those around me more nervous :) It seems when I hit situations like this it requires a huge leap of faith and is almost always something that defies logic. I often face people that lecture me and tell me how off-course I am.... I face people that run in fear because they want to defend me to the latter but they just aren't able to justify it themselves.... I have people that run away just because they don't want to deal with anything.... What I think the scariest part about this is is the fact that no one is ever really there to support me. Sure, God's in it.... but as far as anyone around me, it's all about second-guessing my actions, my beliefs, my intelligence.... What is really starting to get me is that over these years I've grown used to doing this stuff on my own (don't lecture me - I know God is in it - I'm reffering to physical surroundings) and it seems like I'm just training myself to be alone. I'm not fond of it.... I'm not fond of living in this awesome house by myself. I love where I live and I love helping people and being around people but the situations that I have been led in to and the (no doubt God-given) decissions that I have made have really pushed me away from... well, that's just it - I don't know. The only thing I'm really sure about is that being alone is something that is becomming a part of my life and I don't like it one bit. I don't know where my life is about to go.... I never really do. I just really hope that maybe this is the change that God does that involves me actually finding someone who cares for me and wants to be around me and help me as much as I help her. There are plenty of people in my life for that I care for whole-heartedly but maybe sometime soon I will find the one that not only will do the same for me but actually DESIRES to do it. Labels: changes, companionship, lonely, love, relationships, single, worth (C)2003-2008, Bob K Mertz - Some Rights Reserved |
Thursday, February 15, 2007 |
Time to go to bed and end it for now..... (C)2003-2008, Bob K Mertz - Some Rights Reserved |
Tuesday, February 13, 2007 |
The good news for the day is that I am feeling slightly better. Last night I was not feeling well at all.... this morning when I woke up, the same was true.... I decided to just relax today until I went to the data center..... being able to just veg and do nothing was really a good thing for me. Oh, and the snow is BEAUTIFUL! There really isn't much else to report.... Happy Singles Awareness Day to everyone tomorrow.... Maybe my future wife will walk into the store tomorrow? *sigh* Really, I just would like any kind of a nice surprise.... just something to let me know that someone is actually thinking of me.... but I'm not keeping my hopes up. Labels: lonely, single, singles awareness, valentine (C)2003-2008, Bob K Mertz - Some Rights Reserved |
Tuesday, September 30, 2003 |
I'm so fed up with everything.... I just want some things to be different... mom just told me that I have to be at my grandmother's house in the morning to help clean it.... this is ... ahh, im gonna try not to swear. I have to work 2-close tommorow and I like to go out to lunch with Jim and Jason and.... dangit... I need a vacation... I cant wait till december for our ski trip... away from everything.... away from mom and dad, away from the tiff crap... just away from everything.... Ahh yes, the tiff stuff.... tonight when I got home from work I had an IM from her that said "please tell me what that was all about" ... I dont know what to say to her... I'm fed up with the situation... Im tired of things starting to look positive and then falling back to the way they were. I'm really starting to think my friends are right and I'm being played... I dont want to believe that but maybe I just need to realize it and move on. Jim has been trying to convince me to go to this "Equally Yoked" place which is for Christian singles... maybe thats what I need to do. Labels: depression, linkin park, single, ski, tiff (C)2003-2008, Bob K Mertz - Some Rights Reserved |
(C)2008, Bob K Mertz - Some Rights Reserved
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